wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
