Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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