Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
