I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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