I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
