at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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