If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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