I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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