Do you still have your period?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
