Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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