ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
