"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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