so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
