i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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