She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize