I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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