Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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