tell your sister to shave her snatch
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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