Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
