I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
