Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
