You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
