Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
