I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
