Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
