god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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