If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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