I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize