Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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