man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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