Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize