if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
