Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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