dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
