Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
