your thong is hanging out like whoa
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
