My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
