This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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