You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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