Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
