she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
