margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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