People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
