just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
