happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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