At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They have beer where we have blood.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
