You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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