it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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