you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
