I molested 6 butterflies tonight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
