Is it because I queefed?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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