If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
