Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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