So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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