I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
