Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
