can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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