After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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