I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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