btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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