Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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